रक्षक

 “ओSSSओSSSओSSS ऊSSSऊSSSऊSSS ईSSSईSSSईSSS”

माँ का भयातुर चीत्कार रात के निस्तब्ध हृदयपटल में सिद्धहस्त शल्यचिकित्सक के धारदार चाकू की तरह उतर गया। उनके मुख से अनजाने ही निकला, “सर्वनाश!” चौखट पर खड़ी धर्मभीरू माँ के पैर अदृश्य बेड़ी से जकड़ गए, शरीर मिर्गी के दौरे की तरह काँपने लगा, आँसुओं से दृष्टि धूमिल हो गई, और काँपते होंठों से अस्फुट शब्द निकलने लगे, “हे माँ, रक्षा करो! … हे माँ, रक्षा करो! … हे माँ, रक्षा करो!”

दुर्गा पूजा बीते कुछ ही दिन हुए थे। दीवाली आने वाली थी। माँ रोज़ की तरह ब्रह्म मुहूर्त में उठी थीं, इकलौती संतान, दुधमुँही बच्ची, को स्नेह से थपथपा कर तकियों की दीवारों के बीच सुलाया था, और स्नेहसिक्त नेत्रों से उसे तब तक निहारती रही थीं जब तक वह कुनमुनाना बिसरा कर शान्ति से सो नहीं गई थी। पिताजी के काम से लौटने में समय था। वे पत्रकार थे। रात खाना खाकर अख़बार के दफ़्तर जाते, तो भोर आठ बजे के बाद ही लौटते थे। उनके वापस आने से पहले माँ एक कमरे का घर साफ़ करतीं, रसोई बनातीं, और पास के कुएँ से दो घड़ों में पानी लाकर एक कोने में रख देतीं। उनकी पूरी कोशिश रहती कि पिताजी घर वापस आकर कम-से-कम तीन घंटे आराम की नींद सो सकें।

हिन्दी अख़बार के उपसम्पादक को पटना के मीठापुर जैसे निम्नमध्यमवर्गीय इलाक़े में टूटी खपरैल की छत के नीचे एक कोठरी, अहाते के भीतर कुआँ, तीन किरायेदारों के साझा उपयोग के लिए एक पाख़ाना और एक स्नानघर की राजसी सुविधा मिलना लगभग असम्भव था, ख़ासकर जब उसे तीन-चार महीनों में एक बार ही वेतन मिल पाता हो और कमरे के किराये का भुगतान भगवान-भरोसे रहता हो। पिताजी ने महीना-भर कई मुहल्लों में सर छुपाने की जगह खोजी थी, लेकिन तीन महीने के किराये के अग्रिम भुगतान के बग़ैर सीढ़ी के नीचे के स्थान की भी मनाही हो जाने पर उनका आत्मविश्वास ताश के महल की तरह धराशायी हो गया था।

माँ-पिताजी की विपन्नता रेगिस्तानी बवंडर में फँसे बटोही की तरह उजागर होने को ही थी जब भवानी बाबू ने उनका उद्धार किया था। भवानी बाबू, यानी भवानी सहाय, कोठरी के मालिक। उनकी पत्नी स्कूल में शिक्षिका थीं। अक्खड़ स्वभाव ने भवानी बाबू को नौकरी करने या व्यवसाय चलाने के योग्य न छोड़ा था। वे कट्टर आर्यसमाजी और आदर्शवादी थे। पिताजी का अन्तर्राज्यीय विवाह, नौकरी करने के बावजूद उनका पढ़ाई जारी रखना, पत्रकारिता-जैसा सम्माननीय काम करना, और माँ के वंशवृक्ष में विवेकानन्द और सुभाष बोस जैसी महान विभूतियों की उपस्थिति—इतने गुणों के आगे वे समय पर किराया न मिलने जैसे कष्ट को सहर्ष स्वीकार कर लेते थे। इतना ही नहीं, उनकी पत्नी माँ की ‘माताजी’ बन चुकी थीं, वे स्वयं पिता-समान हो गए थे, और उनका जवान बेटा मुन्नू भाई-जैसा बन गया था।

माँ दरवाज़े पर जड़वत खड़ी थीं। चौखट के सामने था सिंदूर में सना नरमुंड, एक लाल कपड़ा, पत्तों की पोटली, कुछ काले दाने, भभूत, फूल, तेल, दिया, और न जाने क्या-क्या। स्पष्ट था कि उस अनुष्ठान को करनेवाला भलीभाँति जानता था कि सभी निवासियों में माँ सबसे पहले उठ कर बाहर निकलती थीं। संभवतः उसे यह अनुमान भी था कि छोटी बच्ची को मुँहअँधेरे घर में अकेली छोड़ कर बाहर निकलती माँ की दृष्टि फ़र्श की बजाय कुएँ की जगत की ओर गड़ी होती थी। शीघ्रातिशीघ्र घड़े भरने की उतावली में उनके पैर का उस सामग्री पर पड़ना स्वाभाविक होता। लेकिन वैसा हुआ न था; रात के अँधेरे में माँ ने उस सामग्री को आवारा कुत्ता जान क़दम रोक लिए थे। दूसरे ही पल उन्हें असलियत का भान हुआ था और उनके मुख से बरबस चीख निकल गई थी।

नरमुंड के सामने रखा दिया टिमटिमा कर माँ को चिढ़ा रहा था। उन्होंने संयम बटोरने की चेष्टा की, किन्तु वह तो मुट्ठी से रेत की तरह कब का फिसल चुका था! ओसारे पर नज़र दौड़ाई तो पाया कि दाहिनेवाली दोनों कोठरियों के दरवाज़ों के सामने भी जादू-टोने का सामान रखा था, बस नरमुंड नहीं थे वहाँ। वही हाल बाईं ओर की कोठरी का भी था जिसमें भवानीबाबू स्वयं रहते थे। उसके दरवाज़े की साँकल उतरी, भड़भड़ा कर किवाड़ खुले, और बिखरे बालों तथा उनींदी आँखों से तहमद बाँधते भवानी बाबू ने प्रश्नवाचक दृष्टि से माँ की ओर देखा। कोई सवाल-जवाब नहीं हुआ उनके बीच। माँ की कातर मुद्रा और भूमि पर पड़ी सामग्री की चुनौती से उनका पौरुष बिफर उठा, “तू किवाड़ बन्द कर अन्दर जा बेटी, हम अभी ठिकाने लगाते हैं इस स्साले खोपड़ को! बहुत फुटबॉल खेला है जवानी में, आज फिर खेलेंगे एक बार!”

पर माँ पर तो जैसे किसी ने जादू कर दिया था। वे वहीं सम्मोहित-सी खड़ी देखती रहीं। भवानी बाबू ने लात मार कर खोपड़ी को ओसारे से बाहर उछाला, फिर ठोकर मार-मार कर नाले में लुढ़का दिया। वापस आकर उन्होंने हर दरवाज़े के सामने से जादूटोने की सामग्री उठा कर एक टोकरी में डाली, और उसे भी बहते नाले को सुपुर्द कर आए। अंत में वे ओसारा धोने लगे। हाँलाकि सुबह की पहली किरण के फूटने में देर थी, लेकिन तब तक शेष कोठरियों के निवासी जाग कर अपने-अपने दरवाज़े पर आ गए थे। माँ भवानी बाबू की सहायता करने को उद्यत हुईं तो माताजी का स्वर उभरा, “नहीं, बेटी! तुम बाहर मत निकलो। जाओ, अपनी बच्ची के पास रहो।“

माँ ने यह आपबीती मुझे कई साल पहले सुनाई थी। मैंने पूछा था, “फिर हमलोगों को कोई बड़ी परेशानी हुई थी क्या?”

“नहीं, भवानी बाबू ने हमें बचा लिया!” माँ ने कहा था।

“और उनको कोई प्रॉब्लेम हुआ?”

माँ थोड़ी देर सोचती रहीं, फिर बोलीं, “उनके साथ बहुत-कुछ घटा। अब इस वजह से कि किस वजह से, पता नहीं, लेकिन उनका ऐक्सिडेंट हो गया। ज़िंदगी-भर लाठी के सहारे चलते रहे बेचारे। मुन्नू भी शायद किसी पुलिस केस में फँस गया। ठीक से पता नहीं, क्योंकि उस घटना के कुछ ही दिन बाद तुम्हारे पिताजी की नौकरी लग गई थी बम्बई में, और हमने वह घर हमेशा के लिए छोड़ दिया था।“

“और वो जंतर-मंतर जिसने किया था, उसका पता चला?”

“शायद!” माँ के रोंगटे खड़े हो गए थे और उनकी आँखों में भय उतर आया था। “जाने दो, उतनी पुरानी बात याद करने का क्या फ़ायदा?” कह कर वे चुप हो गई थीं।

शायद आप पूछें कि मैं आज उस सत्तर-बहत्तर साल पुरानी घटना का ज़िक्र क्यों कर रहा हूँ।

बात यह है, कि इस समय भी दुर्गा पूजा और दीवाली के बीच का काल चल रहा है और आज सुबह मुझे दुबई के पुराने मुहल्ले, बरदुबई, के एक चौराहे पर वैसा ही जादूटोना किया दिखाई पड़ा है। अफ़सोस, भवानी बाबू मौजूद नहीं हैं मेरी रक्षा को आज!

उसका क्या

 

दिल है रंजीदा, तो होने दो, उसका क्या!

घर है वीरान, तो होने दो, उसका क्या!

वादा करके भी तुम नहीं आते

हमने जो आस लगाई, उसका क्या?

 

सबकी दुनिया है अलग, जाने दो, उसका क्या!

सबका है दर्द अलग, होने दो, उसका क्या!

तुम तो कोई ग़ैर न थे, अपने थे

अब जो बेपरवा हुए, उसका क्या?

 

जान जानी है तो जाएगी, उसका क्या!

मौत आनी है तो आएगी, उसका क्या!

सबने छोड़ा, अब तुम भी चले जाते हो

तुम्हारी याद जो आएगी, उसका क्या?

Lessons from Gita - Decision Taking

A 25 years old man joined the Hindi film industry as a hero. Within a couple of years, his movies started earning good money. His romantic image became a style statement. For almost 30 years, his name was enough to draw people to the silver screen. The man fell a victim to his best screen aura. Even in old age, he insisted upon playing lead roles in films in the belief that his charm would remain evergreen. Unfortunately, that was not to be. The films started bombing one after the other with the man not giving up. Even film enthusiasts would find it difficult to recall much about the movies ‘Chargesheet’, ‘Love at Times Square’, ‘Censor’, ‘Pyaar Ka Tarana’, etc.

Allow me to talk about another illustrious person. The second-youngest cricketer to score a test century, he amassed 15,921 runs with 51 centuries in that format of the game, and scored 18,426 runs with 49 centuries in one day international games. However, his batting average started diminishing over the years, and his 100^th century came after a gap of an year after the 99^th. The opponents? Bangladesh, one of the weakest teams of that time. By the time he retired, he was a shadow of his past self.

There was a guy in a small town in Bavaria, who cobbled shoes in a laundry room. He couldn’t have aspired for much due to his humble status, limited resources, and the presence of many established shoemakers in the market. But the boy was made of a different stuff. He didn’t look at his shoes only from his point of view, nor did he blindly copy what others were making. He contacted athletes, understood their complaints about shoes, learnt about their expectations, and worked on his products. He continued to gather feedback to bring improvements. Gradually, his shoes gained recognition and started being preferred by the customers, leading to the registration of Adi Dassler Adidas Sportschuhfabrik. Adidas, a household name, doesn’t need an introduction today.

And then, there is this woman who thought she could write even when she was a young girl. Before she could share her major work, her mother died. Two years later, she got married, had a daughter, but got divorced in about a year. Her limited means, absence of a typewriter or computer, and lack of space forced her to write in a café with her daughter, Jessica, in a pram next to her chair. She could ill-afford the photocopying expenditure but still kept submitting the manuscript to publishers, 12 of whom rejected it over time. Finally, an eight years old girl, Alice, read the manuscript of the novel, liked it, and told her father Nigel about it. The wheel of fortune turned. Nigel Newton, the CEO of Bloomsbury, called the writer and thus was laid the foundation of the famous Harry Potter series. More than 500 million copies of JK Rowling’s books have been sold worldwide.

According to the Vedanta, reality can be of three types—Pratibhasika (personal or subjective), Vyavaharika (collective or objective), and Paramarthika (universal or complete). Mundane matters of everyday life can be handled efficiently with the awareness of Pratibhasika Satya. However, one should be equipped with higher knowledge to deal with larger issues. Such matters must be handled in a detached manner. Too much focus on oneself or on one point often leads to exaggerated or deficient attention on other relevant people or situations, incorrect judgement of threats and opportunities, irrational decisions, and failures. Substantial resources of time and money would have been saved had the hero of the yesteryears in the above example accepted the public opinion in time. Same with the sportsman. The key to the success of Adi Dassler lay in the fact that rather than focusing on his limitations, he concentrated on the collective feedback of the target users. While 12 publishers dismissed the Harry Potter manuscript as useless, the 13^th minted money because he gave precedence to the opinion of the target reader.

To arrive at the correct decision, the situation must be analysed in a foolproof, calm, patient, and aloof manner. Personal prejudices, dogmas, likes, and dislikes corrupt the decision. It’s easy to say but difficult to practice because of our ego. How can we ignore our status, power, strengths, etc., while getting involved with a problem? How can it be sane to treat a scholar at par with an illiterate, a billionaire with a pauper, or, a body builder with an unfit person? Aren’t we different from the others? Don’t we have unique personalities? Are we not distinctly different individuals?

As long as complex situations are concerned, we are not! A pope’s peon and the pope know more than the pope. The lowly ant is capable of making the mighty elephant very uncomfortable. Geese have guarded military establishments better than dogs in some cases. If it sounds too much of a general statement, just look at the headlines involving a major event: “126 Die in Plane Crash,” “56% Girls Clear Exams,” and, “Cabinet to have 30 Ministers.” Where is the individual here?

An often misunderstood shloka from the 9^th chapter of Gita reads as below:

पिताहमस्य जगतो माता धाता पितामह: |
वेद्यं पवित्रमोङ्कार ऋक्साम यजुरेव च || 17||

If we go by the literal meaning, Lord Krishna describes his might to Arjuna through these words by stating that he is the father, the mother, the sustainer, and the grandsire of the universe. He is also the purifier, the goal of knowledge, the sacred syllable ‘Om’, the Ṛig Veda, the Sāma Veda, and the Yajur Veda.

The implied, much deeper, meaning addresses one of the greatest errors in human consciousness because of which we consider ourselves as different individuals. There is nothing individual about us. Our body is not of our creation; it was created by our parents and their parents in an endless chain. We didn’t decide about our birth, diseases, or features, and have little control over our thoughts, romances, fights, and other events around us. The principles governing us are not our creation. Our knowledge is also not ours. We didn’t invent the alphabets, the numbers, or the subjects. We are just a part of the creation. We owe our existence to the cosmos. ‘I’ is an illusion, ‘individual’ is a myth. Once we accept that reality, it becomes easier to acquire the larger perspective essential for impeccable decision-making.

            Step down from that high pedestal, start including the lowest common denominator in the scheme of things, and enjoy the pleasure of taking correct decisions in complex situations.

Mamma-Papa

Mamma-Papa

I'll still sit next to you
When your face is no longer beautiful

I'll still talk with you
When your hearing starts playing tricks

I'll still laugh at your jokes
That I would've already heard many times

I'll touch your forehead
When you complain of fever

I'll come to your rescue
When you have something to fear

I will respond
When you have something to say

I'll not smirk
At your dated ways

I'll not abruptly get up and go
Leaving you in mid-sentence

I'll behave honestly
And drop all pretence

I'll not go out
Without a warm hug

I'll look at you
As a sign of luck

I'll give you company
And not leave you alone

For I know, my dear
Man doesn't live on bread alone

The Witch in My Room

When I turn off the light switch

I often see a witch

When I put the switch back on

I find the witch has gone

She wears a black gown

And a conical slimy hat

Her skin is dirty green

She flies with a filthy cat.

She loves to eat dead rats

And feasts on ugly bats

Spiders swim in her soup

Which smells of doggie poop

She once worried my friend

Who got frightened to no end

She put nuggets on her head

And ate her with some bread

Gita for Managers (Part 3) – Personal Excellence

Gita, an epic from the Hindu religion, is not about Hinduism. I have not found the word ‘Hindu’ anywhere in it. It doesn’t prescribe methods to worship a certain deity, doesn’t dictate the colour one must wear, the food one must eat, and, the prayers one must recite.

As you must already be aware of, Gita essentially contains a discussion between the warrior Arjuna and his chariot driver, Krishna. Just before the start of the war, Arjuna got overwhelmed with grief over the thought of killing his family members. He cast aside his bow and arrows, and sank into the seat of his chariot.

एवमुक्त्वार्जुन: सङ्ख्ये रथोपस्थ उपाविशत् |
विसृज्य सशरं चापं शोकसंविग्नमानस: || (Gita Part 1, shloka 47)

Interestingly, Krishna didn’t drive the chariot away to a calm and quiet place to enlighten Arjuna. He spoke right at the battlefield, a far cry from meetings conducted in an environment usually totally indifferent to the topic under debate.

Spread into several chapters, Gita deals with many concepts that confuse the common man and the modern manager.

Let us take the concept of the basic business activity of welcoming the client, making them feel important, and comfortable. What is the purpose of this activity? Obviously, it is to make the customer feel good and comfortable enough to conduct business with the organization. A retail chain, Big Bazaar (now run by Reliance as Smart Bazaar), was established by Kishore Biyani in 2001 to cater to the middle class. The spacious stores of Big Bazaar were designed to offer wonderful convenience by selling moderately priced crockery to footwear, linen to stationery, jewellery to cookware, furniture to foodgrains, electronic gadgets to cosmetics, all under one roof. Naturally, the stores were quite large when compared to ordinary shops. Many were spread over multiple floors. The imposing gates of the stores were manned by and two or more hefty guards in ceremonial attire, complete with ear-to-ear moustaches. After the introductory excitement ebbed out, it was felt that the sale was below expectations. There was nothing wrong with the publicity, the location of the stores, or the range of the stock. Further analysis revealed that the targeted middle class customers, intimidated by the presence of the well-groomed guards, were presuming the merchandise to be expensive beyond their reach and therefore not entering the stores. The rich, in any case, didn’t have much of interest there. Sales improved immediately after the ceremonial guards were replaced with ones in more common uniforms.

Whether it is HR, finance, logistics, design, marketing, sourcing, or some other function, failures are bound to happen if the activities don’t synchronise with the essence of the action plan. Expense control measures are known to have increased the cost of acquiring business, quicker delivery has resulted in imperfect execution, efficiency improvement projects have caused loss of intellectual property, and attractive designs have attracted accidents. Ritualistic activities cannot yield perfect results. Neither leaders nor their followers can achieve goals with preoccupied minds. Krishna didn’t offer a readymade advice to Arjuna; he awakened the conscience of Arjuna to examine facts without prejudice.

प्रसादे सर्वदु:खानां हानिरस्योपजायते |
प्रसन्नचेतसो ह्याशु बुद्धि: पर्यवतिष्ठते || (Gita Part 2, shloka 65)

Often, the hurry to derive more and more gainful results makes one overlook details and appreciate them. When I joined the sales force of an HVAC (heating, ventilation and air-conditioning) product manufacturer, the managing director proudly declared that their products enjoyed more than 70% market share. Impressed, I asked him the reason behind the success. He laughed and said that no one could really explain that. The words automatically came out of my mouth, “In that case you would also not know the reason behind the loss of market share.” The company faced some tough times within years and a new managing director was appointed. Whether the scale is large or small, the experience of life changes with change in perception. Excess focus on smaller details makes one oblivious of the complete picture. One must become free of ego and false pretenses to understand a situation in its entirety.

प्रकृते: क्रियमाणानि गुणै: कर्माणि सर्वश: |
अहङ्कारविमूढात्मा कर्ताहमिति मन्यते || (Gita part 3, shloka 27)

Eagerness to claim success often leaves one with egg on face. Those caught in the petty boundaries of designation, hierarchy, department, jurisdictions, etc., can never experience spectacular success. On the other hand, managers with open mind, due to naturally greater interactions, vision, and awareness, are able to convert seemingly non-existent opportunities into roaring successes. They are more stable, they don’t indulge in self-denial, and don’t look for scapegoats in adverse conditions. Like seasoned players, they enjoy a long run.

ज्ञेय: स नित्यसंन्यासी यो न द्वेष्टि न काङ् क्षति |
निर्द्वन्द्वो हि महाबाहो सुखं बन्धात्प्रमुच्यते || (Gita part 5, shloka 3)

To sum up, don’t be conditioned by what you want. Have the courage to accept the reality even if it is not exactly as per your desire. That sincerity is the starting point for fruitful action.

            य: सर्वत्रानभिस्नेहस्तत्तत्प्राप्य शुभाशुभम् |
            नाभिनन्दति न द्वेष्टि तस्य प्रज्ञा प्रतिष्ठिता || (Gita part 2, shloka 57)

Adolescence

If you are close to a growing child 8 to 15 years in age, you would perhaps be accustomed to certain disturbing behavioral patterns. Long spells of silence, ignoring the presence of close family members, bursts of anger for no apparent reason, lame excuses behind failed commitments and duties, denial of shortcomings, lying, bullying the weak persons, lack of manners, overindulgence, manipulating elders against each-other, poor etiquettes, etc., are the hallmark of many pre- and early-teen children, says my firsthand experience.

I don’t blame the kids entirely. I have seen many such children shedding their negative traits and growing into excellent individuals. Secondly, several adolescents are permitted negative conduct by their parents in the hope that their unrestrained children would accomplish everything that they have failed to achieve. They force the reluctant child to play lawn tennis and football, excel in gymnastics, be an excellent swimmer, hold a karate belt, sketch and paint like a professional artist, sing and dance in myriad styles, and, of course, do well in studies. Having overburdened the child, they secretly admit the fact, shower the kid with gifts, and cover up all wrongdoings as natural. Often, instead of becoming a strength, the child turns out to be their weakness. The fall from pride to embarrassment is too obscure to be experienced.

A much talked about Netflix serial, Adolescence, shakes audience to the core by revealing a 13-years-old boy, Jamie, as a murderer. The innocent-looking boy has a loving family. His father, Eddie Miller, doesn’t believe in beating children, having been subjected to severe thrashings by his father in the childhood. Eddie, a plumber, ensures that Jamie has expensive shoes, track suits, computer, and everything else that a child of his age requires. Mother Manda and sister Lisa complete his small and beautiful family.

While Eddie accepts Jamie’s reluctance to play football or other sports, Manda doesn’t object when the class 8 student frequently remains awake till the morning, doing something on his computer. Their world comes crashing down when police raid their house one morning and arrest Jamie for the murder of a classmate.

Hours stretch into days and days into months, and Jamie finally decides to own up responsibility for the murder. It transpires that the baby-faced Jamie was bullied in the school and over the social media. He desired the company of girls but didn’t have a friend from the opposite sex in a school where girls shared intimate pictures with boys. Jamie was labelled as an ‘incel’. To be fair, Lisa has a close friend, a boy. When Manda wants to know something about the relationship, her daughter cuts the conversation short with a “none of your business” remark.

I will not be a spoilsport by revealing more details about the circumstances that lead to the murder, but let me add that the serial is based on a real-life incident.

What is making the children go so astray that they kill on impulse? The social media, the government, the society, the education system, the parents, or someone else? The desire to be affluent and lead a life of luxury, the lack of concentration, the inability to think judiciously, the impatience—what is the source of these? 

Doesn’t the old saying, “it takes a village to raise a child,” hold merit? Not only the emotional shock absorber and relief valves provided through the presence of grandparents and other relatives are vanishing, the token presence of the parents for a limited period is adding on to improper upbringing. Children openly equate love with the price of the gift, and don’t mind ridiculing the poor.

Allow me to quote from Gita (chapter 2, shlokas 62 and 63):

ध्यायतो विषयान्पुंस: सङ्गस्तेषुपजायते |
सङ्गत्सञ्जायते कामः कामात्क्रोधोऽभिजायते ||

क्रोधाद्भवति सम्मोह: सम्मोहात्स्मृतिविभ्रम: |
स्मृतिभ्रंशाद् बुद्धिनाशो बुद्धिनाशात्प्रणश्यति ||

           It doesn’t matter whether one is really affluent and leads a luxurious life. Even thinking about these generates desire, which leads to anger, then to loss of wisdom, and finally, to human degradation. In Jamie’s case, it was the desire for positive self-image that let him down. You will have several examples where the desire for lifestyle, wealth, fame, recognition, etc., ended with tragic results.

Lord Krishna says (Gita chapter 3, shloka 21):

यद्यदाचरति श्रेष्ठस्तत्तदेवेतरो जन: |
स यत्प्रमाणं कुरुते लोकस्तदनुवर्तते ||

People try to imitate the actions of their ideals. These ideals can be parents, relatives, teachers, classmates, or social media personalities.  You know what I mean.

           I am not proving a readymade answer. If you have read thus far, I thank you and urge you to think. It’s a question of saving your future.